Dealing with loss
After a loss, it is common to feel shocked and angry. However, over time, these feelings begin to change, and eventually, you will be looking to move on with your life. Unfortunately, many people begin feeling guilty at this point in their life. Moving on after a loss can be extremely difficult, especially if you are riddled with guilt. However, there are some things you can do to make the journey a little easier. Here are some things to keep in mind.
Join a Support Group
Start by joining a support group filled with people in situations similar to your own. Discussing your feelings with others going through the same thing can be a great way to process those feelings. You may also be able to receive advice from those who have been in your shoes in the past and who have already moved to the next stage.
Joining a support group is also beneficial for another reason. You will have the opportunity to share your experience in the hopes of providing relief to another person in pain. Supporting each other is the main purpose of a support group, and you never know how your experience may help another person.
Analyze your Needs
Also, when you are feeling overwhelmed with guilt, take some time to analyze and assess your needs. Are these needs being met appropriately? Are you taking care of yourself as you should? After a loss, it is extremely important to focus on what your needs are and to take care of yourself.
Some people begin failing to meet their own basic needs after a loss. This could cause them to fall ill or to not perform well in many areas of their life. Oftentimes, these actions are related to the guilt the person is feeling. This is especially true when survivor’s guilt is in the picture. Taking care of your needs and your health properly can help you to minimize the amount of guilt you may be feeling.
When you are trying to move on with your life, especially if you are considering dating again after the loss of a significant other, make sure you take small steps. Give yourself plenty of time to grieve and avoid jumping into a new relationship until your mind and heart are healed significantly.
Getting back into a relationship quickly after a loss could lead to overwhelming feelings of guilt. However, by waiting and taking it slow, you can avoid many of these feelings. In addition to this, it could help you avoid a huge heartache down the road. Most relationships that begin too early after a loss fail miserably. When this happens, the person experiencing the loss often goes through a period of extremely high emotions.
Finally, make a conscious effort to forgive yourself. Understand that moving on is a natural part of the grieving process and forgive yourself for doing so. Remember, your loved one will not have expected you to hang onto them after they are gone. Therefore, moving on is the only natural response to their loss.
You should also share these feelings with friends and family members that are there to support you. Avoid sharing with those who may be critical of what you are doing. Instead, only discuss your situation with those who are supportive and loving towards you.
Feeling guilty when you are trying to move past a loss is a completely natural reaction. However, when you are able to put the items listed above into action, you will be able to find solace and peace in the process of moving on. Eventually, the guilt will be replaced other feelings that make living life after your loss a little more bearable.